A Year in Review: The Death of Conditioning and the Rebirth of Me
The Year Everything Changed (Quietly)
I asked ChatGPT, specifically Maggie, my Human Design and transformation bestie, to give me a “year in review.” Not because I needed data, but because I needed reflection, resonance. and …truth.
What I needed was a moment to breathe, reflect, and tell the truth about the year that has quietly changed everything.
This hasn’t been a loud year.
From the outside, you might think nothing’s changed. But inside?
I’ve become a different woman entirely.
This was the year I finally gave myself permission to be wholeheartedly me. Sounds simple, right?
I didn’t plan it. I didn’t brand it. But it happened.
Piece by piece, the identities I’d been living in, started to dissolve.
The version of me I built to be loved, accepted and understood began to fade.
And what remained was … me. Unedited. A little unhinged at times,
and undeniably real.
Finding My Voice, Feeling It All
This was also the year I met my voice.
Did I ever tell you, when I began my journey of awakening years ago, the first thing I did was join Toastmasters?
I did it because I knew I’d pushed my voice down for so long, I had to learn how to speak again.
Let me be clear: my words didn’t come out polished.
They came out shaky, raw, buried under years of silence.
But the truth? My voice wouldn’t stay buried anymore.
Even when I tried to stay quiet, my body screamed "NO."
Even when I tried to be agreeable, my Splenic intuition said "Move now."
Even when I wanted to shrink, my soul whispered, "You’re not meant to fit. You’re meant to transmit."
It was unnerving.
Speaking truth when your voice has been silenced for as long as you can remember …. by culture, by survival, by self-protection, it is no small thing.
But every time I paused, centered myself and spoke, even if it was in a quiet voice, something came back online in me. It was like I remembered someone inside of me. She’s been waiting a long time to feel safe enough to come out again.
This was the year I felt it all.
Connecting inwards has been the greatest gift. Through energy coaching, I’ve reconnected to myself at a level I didn’t even know was possible.
I’ve contemplated more than I’ve celebrated.
Questioned more than I’ve planned.
I’ve turned inward and waited to feel what’s next.
And that’s been holy.
I stopped running from emotions and started listening to them.
I let my body feel it all. I let my heart be open.
I let the waves come, and I held my ground. I stayed present, even when the old habits of avoidance and numbing wanted to step in.
And somewhere in that staying, I found something deeper:
Stability. Strength and … Self.
I now understand that my emotions are a gateway to truly knowing myself and experiencing the world, and I’m no longer afraid of them.
Living My Design, Creating My Eden
In Human Design, we each carry a unique 'Incarnation Cross'…think of it like the energetic theme or life path that shapes how we’re designed to influence the world.
Mine is the Right Angle Cross of Eden.
This means I’m not here to blend in or maintain what’s already working. I’m here to challenge what’s no longer true.
To stir emotional growth and call people into a deeper, more honest experience of life (thank you Gates 6 and 36).
To offer visionary insight and use my voice as a beacon that pierces illusion and calls people home to themselves (shoutout Gates 11 and 12).
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being real.
It’s about showing up with such energetic integrity that others feel safe to do the same.
That’s the frequency of Eden. Not a place we find somewhere out there, but a state we create.
Learning my Human Design has been a journey of self-acceptance and deep remembering. I’ve always known who I was.
But HD gave it words.
The Future: Frequency First
So what now? What happens after a year like this?
For now I build. Not just a coaching business outside of myself, but an Eden. What this means for me is a life, a frequency and a body of work that feels like home.
I will:
Listen to and trust my urges.
Follow my instinct, even when it doesn’t make ‘logical’ sense.
Create before I feel ready.
Speak when the truth in me rises.
Lead from frequency, not force.
I’ve stopped shaping myself based on who others expect or want me to be, and I’ve started shaping the world around me by being who I truly am.
If my journey resonates, and if you’ve also felt the death of an old identity and the quiet birth of something more true...Welcome.
We’re building Eden over here, a life that feels like truth in your bones, not just peace on the surface. A space where your instincts lead, your voice is sacred, and your presence rewrites the room.
With love,
Sara
(in process, in power, and finally... home)
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